These are no fortunate sons, just a gaggle of boys fighting the man in black pajamas in Vietnam. When their commando run goes horribly wrong, they’re set upon by fearsome feline beast people. Can the heroes find the artifact that will seal away the monsters and make it home in time? Or are they about to climb Hamburger … er, Fancy Feast Hill?
He found the lost city of Mu. He climb the steeps of Mt. Fuji. He delved into the tombs of the emperors. But when the Indian government calls upon Gold Ridgeback to stop a madwoman bent on stealing the secrets of mythical Shangra-La, can he live up to his own legend? OF COURSE HE CAN HE’S GOLD MOTHER F***ING RIDGEBACK!
It’s the age of heroes, but not everyone is so thrilled about killing. Ajax the Lesser just wants to work on his book, while his buddy Hubris is down for whatever. But when a visitor calls all able warriors to a rescue mission at Atlantis, they’ve got no choice but to start HITCHIKING TO …. ATLANTIS!
A former SAS agent is happy to retire to his New York studio and focus on his art when a freak accident outside his studio draws his attention to a strange man who may be killing all over town. Without the help of the cops, he takes to the streets to track down a psycho who gets off on crushing his victims. He may just survive, if he doesn't get squeezed first!
The Old Country. Long ago. The crops are all dying and no wheat means no bread. No bread means all … dead. The local cult is sure they have the answer when a snake-oil salesman rolls into town with the cure. When he fails to produce results, the old gods are contacted and suddenly John Barleycorn is very much not dead. Don’t panic!
For our December screening, we’re rolling out a trio of Christmas specials that never should have been made but are so bizarre, so strange and so tone-deaf that we kind love them. Learn about the barn yard animal that saved Jesus’ life, the time Rudolph the Timelord defended reality itself from an immortal Vulture, and how four mutants in Manhattan spend the holidays.
In the future, everything is taken care of: there is no war, no poverty and no need … beyond the need for love! With all of civilization is built on romance, what’s an unlucky in love radio advice host to do? There’ll be no more more striking out when she decides to Build-A-Husband!
Cast: Jennifer Grey, George Clooney, Rob Schneider, Bronson Pinchot
Danny Edwards, co-host of the excellent Notice Me Senpai! podcast joins us to tell a tale of apes, evolution and a property legally distinct from Planet of the Apes. Can Rilko save the kingdom? Will Umu be avenged? Will the evil Cult of Rozr reing supreme. And when will get these f***ing action figures??? It’s NEW HEGEMON: A GRAND APE ORDER!
A note on quality: we took a chance and recorded this around a table which was not ideal. Sorry for the harsh audio quality and the annoying typing noises. We’ll try harder.
Cast: Ivana Baquero, Rose Leslie, Dax Shepard, Edward James Olmos, James Earl Jones, Paul Giamatti
Hardboiled gumshoe Gary Langhorn is on the case of a missing girl, and all signs point to acid-dropping teens. But when a legendary monster is revealed to be the killer, it’s up to Langhorn to hunt it down and kill it before it destroys his town. There’s only one problem: he’s the only one who can see it. Is there really a monster on the loose, or is Langhorn loosing his mind?
Cast: Nick Nolte, Kevin Bacon, Some Teens, A Stinky-ass Monster
Things heat up in the Caribbean when a mad mogul reveals a massive mountaintop super weapon! There’s only one Super Soldier who can take him down, but she’ll need help if she’s going to stop this HEAT LINE!
Cast: Vivica Fox, Matthias Hues, Orville “Shaggy” Burrell, Jake Busey
It’s the swinging 60s and London’s hottest club has all the Faces and Ducks dancing. But something about the beautiful dancing gals doesn’t seem right. If only they’d listened to the crazy old man who warned them of the ancient evil they were about to face, these kids could’ve avoided the Go Go Ghouls!
Lovecraftian kaiju cover the landscape, but two brave couriers stay on the move. When their path collides with an evil scientist bent on enslaving the monsters for her nefarious purposes, the chase is on to save their skins ... and the world!
Cast: Willem Dafoe, Ernie Reyes Jr., Melody Anderson
When four lawmen come to town … they fail, only to be brought back to life as Frank Steiner, the fastest, grittiest, undead-est sheriff in the Wild West. A Witch and a Reanimator conspire with the Sheriff to take out a Vampire haunting the landscape. In the end, one will rule the town while the other will lose their head.
Cast: Christoph Waltz as the Doctor, Joe Lo Truglio as the Mayor, Darrell Hammond as the Count, Sarah Paulson as Evil Annie, Milo Ventimiglia / Luke Perry / Stephen Amell / Joe Maginello as Frank Steiner.
When a government researcher begins to transform into a dino-powered killing machine, she becomes the target of an elite squad of spooks! There’s sex, there’s intrigue, there’s a heapin’ helpin’ of b-movie science - it’s DINO-SORES!
Cast: Jenni Garth, Ron Pearlman, Adam Baldwin, Henry Rollins, David Arquette